Bandera Epiphany

I made it out to Bandera this weekend for a couple of runs. Bandera is my favorite place to run, bar none, so I was excited to get out there. I left work early, so we got there around 5. Right away I went out for a quick run of about 7 miles. It felt pretty good, although I felt a little heavy and less nimble than I like. I know I'm not a little guy, but I felt like a 250 pound linebacker trying to run on some of the technical areas. This was part 1 of my epiphany. But I finished strong, and was just happy to be there.

The next morning, Jim and I headed out for another run, this time with Charlene, Daniel, and Melanie. Melanie ran up ahead pretty quick, but the rest of us stayed together. This is where I had a really interesting conversation that was the second part of my epiphany. Daniel and I were talking about our kids, and somehow I mentioned how amazing it was that Micah (my kid) could develop so fast. Specifically, that in 3 days he could completely change his life (when he started sleeping through the night, when he learned to crawl, etc). I said, without much thought, how I wish I could change aspects of my life in just 3 days. I don't know why, but Daniel jumped on it and asked what I would change. I thought for a second, and answered the truth, I'd change my diet. I eat and drink all the wrong things at all the wrong times, and way too much of it. I eat the wrong things, and even when I eat healthy I eat 3-4 portions. I skip meals all the time. I don't eat while I run, then binge when it's over. I do everything you shouldn't do as an athlete, or for that matter, as a human. I answered the questions, and I meant it, but I didn't expect anything to come of it.

Fast forward an hour or so later, I'm now running with Daniel and Melanie, and we're approaching Ice Cream Hill. We're taking it pretty easy, but I felt my energy dropping fast. By the time we reached the top of Ice Cream Hill, I said goodbye as I knew I couldn't keep up any longer. I had gone from comfortable to dead within 10 minutes. It was depressing. When I take care of myself, eat right, drink plenty of water, I can run 100 miles with energy to spare. Yet here I was 13 or so miles into the run and I was absolutely depleted. This was the third and final part of my epiphany. I had the next hour to sludge home without food or water, with no energy, to think about what I was doing.

So there I was Saturday night, frustrated to where things have gone. I run because I love it, not because I want to compete. Yet, it's not fun to suck at it, or to under perform. Which is what I feel like I'm doing. So I've decided to make a change. Or, to be more specific, I'm starting a trial. I have a race in December that I want to do well in, and I want to have fun doing it, so I'm going to make some changes to accomplish it. It has nothing to do with my running, I'll train the same, it's everything else I'm going to improve starting immediately. We'll see how it goes...